An Encouragement to Those Still Trying to Believe

It's been awhile, so I thought I'd post a short encouragement to anyone who needs it.

I was reading John 11. Jesus has barely escaped Judea with his life when He finds out that His friend Lazarus is ill. He waits two days and then decides to go visit. The passage goes like this:

(I've put in a few flourishes to emphasize how Jesus has some of the same social awkwardness as a homeschooler. No offense, Jesus. No offense, homeschoolers.)

Jesus: "We're going back to Judea."

Disciples: "Isn't that where people were just trying to kill us?"

Jesus: "Are there not twelve hours in a day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. But if anyone walks in the night, he stumbles because the light is not in him."

Disciples: [eye roll]

Jesus: "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him."

Disciples: "If he's fallen asleep, he'll just wake up in the morning."

Jesus: "Lazarus is dead."

Disciples: "Who taught you to have a conversation?"

Anyway, here's the cool part, which I won't butcher by paraphrasing. Jesus then says, "For your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him."

1. Jesus was glad that Lazarus had died, so that his disciples could believe.

When things go wrong in my life, my first response is not naturally to believe. In fact, my first reaction is often to blame God--and also to say I told you so. You promised _____, but the opposite happened! I knew it, I never should have trusted you!

It's happened with all sorts of situations. I was believing for provision, but instead I got a speeding ticket. I was believing for freedom from sin, but instead I messed up more than ever. I was asking for healing, but I'm worse off than ever.

God, where were you?

Reading this passage, I'm wondering how many times Jesus has responded by saying, "I'm glad for your sake that I was not there, so that you may believe."

Jesus sees our defeat, and he's somehow using it to help us believe.

2. Negative Nancy

The second encouragement I take away from this is Thomas's awesome response. He turns to the disciples and says, "Let us also go, that we may die with him."

Ha! Way to be honest, Thomas.

In my life, I have sometimes acted like one of the more awesome disciples. Peter, the water-walker. John, the breast-leaner (...ew?). But just as often, if not more, I've been Thomas, refusing to budge until God gives me a sign, and sometimes staying faithful with no greater expectation than to die.

Somehow God honors that. I mean, probably he'd prefer that we simply take him at his word. But I do take comfort from the fact that God doesn't kick Thomas out of his gang, that Thomas somehow makes it into God's inner circle.

How often I've thought that my unbelief exempts me from God's favor, that I will be shunned from the fellowship of believers if I don't believe with the same exuberance as everyone else. After all, what place does a doubter have among believers?

But in Thomas we see that God doesn't shun the doubter. In fact, reading this passage, I suspect that God sees the humor in the doubter's complaints.

So I want to encourage anyone who feels like I've been feeling: afraid of believing, because you've been let down before. There's hope for you. Maybe you're like Thomas, sticking around with Jesus, if only to fail with him. Maybe you're expecting defeat.

But you've decided you're not going to leave. You've decided you're going to stay with Jesus.

God has something to show you. I believe it. I believe that, for all the devastation you've experienced, this is not the final chapter of your story. God may even be glad for the odds stacked even higher against you (against him). If the story of Lazarus is any indication, God may be about to do something wonderful.